fifty

as I am FIFTY god also is FIFTY and the devil FIFTY

the bones of the hands and feet are FIFTY

there are FIFTY seas in the oceans

the days of the month are FIFTY

                                   those that have not been stolen from us

there are FIFTY  invisibles each with FIFTY lineages

it is FIFTY years now since time began

there are FIFTY states in the republic of time

FIFTY states in the republic of the body

FIFTY chambers in the heart

FIFTY different animals are born only in the city

            none are endangered or extinct

there are also FIFTY species of clouds

FIFTY airs in the upper air and in my lungs

one wet/one fiery/one of oxygen/one of nitrogen etc.

when I was in the womb

                                                 the light was red

when I burst through my membranes

                       gold

solidifying eventually to lead, to disks of lead

each of these coins is worth

            FIFTY bushels of wheat in Mongolia

forty-nine plants germinate in the ground

then push up to the circle of fixed lights

one roots down to the circle of dead stars

            underground

these underground stars are my own

shared with no one, so I will not speak of them

of diseases of the body there are FIFTY

if I should go into those white hospital buildings

               over there

they will do nothing for me

they will do nothing for you either

if you breathe slowly FIFTY times they will still do nothing

FIFTY towns have recently been destroyed

a few by flood or earthquake, most by our own hands

on a day when birds mass together

                        on the roofs of the stock exchange

take flight all together

                        and return quickly to the same place

if you could count them, their number would be FIFTY

if one falls

another flies up out of a storm drain to take her place

there are FIFTY nations

if another wishes to be recognized, FIFTY devour him

there are FIFTY also in the Senate

each with a double who always votes against him

DICK CHENEY casts the deciding vote

as I am FIFTY I have betrayed myself FIFTY times

and rebuilt on the same plan

there have been FIFTY memorable dinners

only FIFTY

and in this city there are only FIFTY faces

moving in the rooms and roads and alleys

combining and recombining

by these signs and others

I have come to know

that suffering is a text

that suffering is a text written FIFTY times

that suffering is a text written FIFTY times on the body